


"Your Love, Is the Only Thing That Keeps Me from Losing Control of Myself "

by UnknownMusing



Series: Diamond in the Dust of the Sunlight [1]
Category: Bleach
Genre: M/M, Mpreg (Because one is a Glutton for it), shimigami
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 17:07:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14501613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnknownMusing/pseuds/UnknownMusing
Summary: A story about Kenpachi and Ichigo falling in love together, how it develops and what happens in the process as war is planned by enemy forces.Note – when Ichigo refers to "it" he basically means sex and Ichigo's Hollow speak, in italics and bold as well as Bond speak between him and Kenpachi.





	1. Chapter 1

** Ichigo's P.O.V: **

 

**_A gasp escapes from me and I dig my hands into the forest ground as his hands grip my behind, tightly to his muscular back, while his hips slam into mine with each thrust he gives into my body then I feel him stiffen against me, while a rush of warmth - his seed fills me - while I have no time to protest as he flips me onto my back and re-enters me in a single thrust - so hard - that it makes me cry in shock that he has stamina for more. His hand, slides down my thigh and harshly bends it upwards, so now his thrusts are deeper inside me, while I weakly take hold of the back of his head, for support as he jolts my body up and down, hard and fast._ **

****

**_The sound of our naked skin - slapping against each other's - fills the forest clearing, - while moans and whimpers escape me, as this man- Captain of the 11th Division - fucks me hard and raw, making at some point, me cry out as he hits the thing inside me that makes me see stars. My body is on fire, while sweat is running thickly down both our bodies and I rock into him, begging him weakly as tears form in my eyes and run down my cheeks, not to stop what he is doing to me._ **

****

**_"Haa...I'm going to...I'm so close... I'm going to." I pant out, to warn him of what is coming as he bends his head down to my neck, where I feel his tongue lick up and down it, making me tilt my head back as my eyes flutter close at the sensation, while I feel the heat and everything else, he is doing overwhelm me, that I need to release from the pressure that has been building up._ **

****

**_But I can't, its though my body is telling me to wait, but for what?_ **

****

**_"You can feel it, can't you? Feel the pressure inside you, building? You want too, don't you? Don't you?" Kenpachi whispers huskily in my ear, while I whimper weakly in reply which makes him chuckle lightly, his breath hot against my neck. " Then do it for me, Ichigo."_ **

****

**_As he said though words, my all body goes taught, muscles stiffening as my back arches of the forest floor while I spasm weakly against him then collapse back down on the Captain's haori, that he had placed down on the moss bed. His._ **

****

**_I now lay there weakly, as the aftershocks wash over me then he pulls out my body, only to push back inside me. My body stiffens and I arch weakly, taking hold of his wrists for support, while he suddenly takes hold of me and flips me, so that I now straddled him. He starts to undulate his hips up and down way, that I must ride him like a jockey on a horse, while his hand, slides up my chest to brush against my nipple, which makes gasp at the touch as he now caresses with his thumb. My body tilts back slightly as I ride him, now as small gasps and breathless pants come from me, while both my hands, dig into the Captain's haori, twisting the white fabric of it in my hands for support._ **

****

**_I'm wet, aching and burning up, while he now speeds up his thrusts, sending pleasure shooting up my spine then it happens making a harsh cry come from me as it hits._ **

 

 

I shoot up in my bed, now breathing heavily as feel sweat that had formed start to trickle down my body- under my shirt- as everything in the dream, comes flooding back to me, while my breath comes in short gasps as I try to calm my pounding heart.

 

The dream, had been so vivid, and it felt like Kenpachi, was doing ** _"it"_** as I now lay back down, trying to think in why, would I dream about him. I didn't know him that well and never had a "wet dream" like this, ever before.

 

I had been attracted to females, but now ever since meeting the others in the Soul Society, along with Kenpachi, my attraction had shifted to the males.

When, I fought him, when saving Rukia, he had looked down at me as we clashed blades and locked them, before both of us fell, exhausted from our injuries onto the ground.

 

_Did I love him? The way, we fought together now, was more Equals then what I was thinking._

_Could it be possible, that me and him, maybe could became Lovers? I didn't know the answer to that question and maybe, it would be wise not to._

He could reject me, harshly as his Equal, if I told him the truth and yet deep down inside, I could feel the heartache, start to form as I now rolled onto my side to face the window, when suddenly I got the sense that someone was there.

 

Outside. Watching me, from afar, so rise slowly as I slide open the window and look out, seeing the clear night sky, above and crescent moon, hanging low. But there is no-one around and sigh softly, while now laying back down, placing my head gently on the pillow then close my eyes, as I allow myself to go back to sleep.

 

The morning sun, is filtering through a gap in the curtain as I wake up and lay there as I flutter my eyes open then turn to look at the time. At least it was only Saturday, and I didn't have any school then sitting up in bed, stare out the open window.

 

It is only 5:03, in the morning so the sun was slowly starting to rise over the horizon, making the light mist that had, seeped in, glitter like tiny diamonds. Sighing, I slide out the bed and get out some fresh clothes, then head to the bathroom, deciding I need a shower.

 

The water is lukewarm, as I tilt my head back and allow it to run down my body, cleaning away the dust and grime from yesterday, while placing both hands on the tiled wall. It felt different, without Rukia, living here.

 

She would understand, maybe if I told her the truth then off course there was Kon. But he sometimes couldn't keep his mouth shut, so that was bad idea. The others -Urahara-san, Orihime, Chad, Ishida – what would they think if I told them.

 

Taking my hands off the tiled wall, I switch of the shower and open the door the step out, while grabbing one of the bath gowns and a towel for my hair. Shrugging it on, I open the door and step out into the corridor, just as I hear someone coming up the stairs, but not my Dad.

 

"Strawberry!" I hear, a familiar voice cry out, as something with pink hair, immediately lunges straight at me and bowls me over in the process, where I land on the floor with muffled thud as I now stare at Yachiru's smiling face, as she giggles at me.

 

"Yachiru?! What are you doing here…KENPACHI-SAN!" I begin to say, then shout his name, in embarrassment as he appears at the top of the stairs then jolts slightly, while a faint blush rises on his cheeks as he brings his hand to cough weakly as though to cover it.

 

Idiot. Like, this hadn't been his intention and had set her on me, to see what would happen. Now, I was blushing as well and Yachiru, was looking at us oddly, her head going back and forth between us like a tennis bowl, as she tried to figure out what was going on.

 

"Umm…Yachiru, why don't you go and see Ichigo's sisters and see if they want to play with you." He said, while I got up and sorted myself quickly, while she smiled at him.

 

"Okay, Kenny-chan. See you, Strawberry." She says, while running off down the stairs, while I hope that for my family's sake, that Kuzu and Karin, can keep her entertained.

 

Heading back to bedroom, while he follows me to my bedroom door then waits for my permission as I sit down on my bed. My heart was now thudding against my ribcage as I indicate for him to come in, while he closes the door behind him, quietly then walks up to me.

 

"I got some news from the Research Bureau that your Reistsu has been fluctuating and acting strange, warping everything around you then settling again, Ichigo." He said, as I wonder if I should lie or tell him the truth, as he looks down at me.

 

"I'm fine. It's nothing, really." I said, as I stood up and headed to the chest of drawers, to get some fresh clothes, when suddenly I feel him-up against me -from behind, while his large hand covers mine.

 

It clasps it gently, while I feel under the bath gown, my chest rise and fall slowly as I try to calm my racing heart as I look down at it then lean back against his muscular chest as he slides his other hand around my waist.

 

The one-handed hug, he is giving me is gentle, which I hadn't expected to come from him. Why was he doing it though? Could it been possible that by fighting as Equals, that we had formed a kind of bond, that made us feel each other's thoughts and feelings. I didn't know the answer to the questions that were in my head.

 

Suddenly, a large hand, taking hold of my chin and tilting it upwards -brings me out of my thoughts- so I stare into emerald eyes, which I swear that when I had been fighting him and now, could see into my soul then his head bends down.

 

His lips are only an inch from mine, when suddenly I hear Kon, screaming in the corridor then the sound of him running as he comes to bedroom door. Kenpachi, moves away from me so fast, that I have no time to react as the door slams open and Kon, comes sailing through the air then lands on me, as I find myself falling backwards as Yachiru, giggling stops at the doorway.

 

"Ichigo…. Please get her away from me." He whimpers, as I sigh and stand up, only to wince slightly as I get up, while Kenpachi, comes over to me then takes hold of my ankle, making me cry out in pain.

 

"The fall sprained your ankle. "He said, while I wish he would now take his hand off it then I hear Kon, protesting and calling out my name, as I now see that he is being cuddled by Yachiru.

 

"Strawberry, can we play with him a little more. Please." She said to me, while Kon, weakly shakes his head at me and nod silently, which makes him give me a glare at me.

 

"Bastard, I get you back for this. No. Not again. Please, Ichi." He begins to say, but Yachiru, has flash-stepped away, now leaving me and Kenpachi alone as he looks up at me, then slides his hand upwards, under the bath gown I wear.

 

"Kenpachi?!" I weakly say, as my breath hitches as his other hand, parts the gown and I'm glad that Yachiru, had closed my bedroom door, or else this would be really embarrassing if my sisters and Dad, saw us.

 

His eyes glint, as he bends down and suddenly I tense weakly, tilting my head back as a breathless gasp escapes me then he growls suddenly, like a wild beast when stalking its prey.

 

I'm grabbed around the hips and he flings me onto my bed, on my front then lifts the gown to expose me to him. I try to breathe, but it likes I'm being choked by something around my throat as I hear the rustling of cloth and a muffled thud as it falls onto the floor then the bed creaks slightly as he gets on top of me.

 

He was mounting me, like a beast when in Rutting season and I wonder why was this happening now. I wasn't ready for this, I would rather take it slow and get know more about each other first before "it" happens then a harsh shove of hips into mine, makes all coherent thought go out the window, as I now grip the sheets for support as I feel blinding pain, but pleasure as well.

 

It's fully sheathed inside me, now and I can feel it -pulsating and throbbing- while I quiver softly, as I try to relax my body, like it said in the Sex Education booklets then his large hands, slide down my sides to take hold of my hips.

 

In the Sex Education booklet, it had described how two men could have sex, without hurting each other, by using a form of lube to make sure that it would be easier. Kenpachi, wasn't using any as I far as I could feel inside me, but he could have put some on without me knowing.

 

He soon starts to undulate his hips back and forth, slowly and gently, while I now gasp and pant as it moves in and out of me. It feels like nothing, I ever felt before and I find myself pushing my hips back in time with his thrusts as I hold, twist and grip the sheets for support.

 

Everything is dissolving into something I can't describe and as a heat that has been building up inside me, comes to a climax, I arch my back as a soft cry escapes me as whiteness covers my vision. It muffles out every sound, except the pounding of my heart against my ribcage then as I come down from the high, I've just experienced, feel him grip my hips tight as he stiffens against me.

 

There is rush of warmth, which makes me gasp softly as I feel it, then he pulls away from me. I now collapse weakly on my bed and lay there, my breathing now coming in laboured gasps, while my chest rises and falls as I try to get my breath back then the bed creaks again, as he lays next to me.

 

A large hand reaches up and strokes a strand of slightly damp hair as I roll to lay on my back then gently tucks it behind my ear, as I now stare up at him. He bends down and lips brush against mine to test how I will react, but I don't then fully cover mine, as I bring my hands to hold the back of his head, entangling with hair that at some point he had taken the bells out, allowing it to fall over his shoulders like a lion's mane.

 

_What did this mean, between us?_

 

I just had something that felt so different and new to me that I grip him tightly to me. I don't want to let go of me and yet he pulls away from, sighing in certain why then ruffles a hand through his hair.

 

He slides off the bed, not saying anything to me and picks up his clothes, shrugging them back on as I try not to think that maybe that just been nothing at all. I want to say something, but can't think of anything then he leaves and lay there on my bed, feeling numb inside.

 

_Why had he done that?_

 

* * *

 

 

It had just been sex and nothing more, as I now walked along the river path to the shops, to get some food for Karin, as she was cooking tonight. He said to me, that it was nothing just a thing that would never happen again.

 

_A one night-stand. A quick fuck that didn't mean he liked me or anything. How could he do it?_

 

Do **_"it"_** to me and just wave it off as nothing. He didn't even know the truth of why my Reistsu, was acting odd then left with Yachiru, who promised to visit Kon and me, when there was time.

 

I wanted to vent my anger at something, but instead calmed myself and keep on walking as I now head through the town to the shop, where Karin, brought what she needed to make dinner.

 

The kiosk, is quiet as I step inside and go over to the food section, while getting out the shopping list that Karin, had given me then start to collect what she needs for tonight. After collecting, what she wants I head over to the magazine section and wonder if I should buy one, when I feel a hand brush against my butt cheek, in a sickly caress, which makes flinch away from the person as they do it.

 

A chuckle sounds and I turn softly, to look at the man in front of me. He eyes flick up and down my body in a lustful way, then feel a hand slap my ass hard, making me gasp in shock. There were two of them- that was why – the kiosk manager hadn't said anything to warn me of what was going to happen.

 

The other one comes up to me and I quickly run to the door, but my hand is grabbed around the wrist. I'm flung backwards, knocking over some cans of soda – some of them busting open as they hit the floor- while I now land on the tiled polished floor with a muffled thud, knocking the breath out of me.

 

Pain shoots through my leg and I curl up weakly as feel my ankle protesting then my head is jerked up, by my hair and dashed into glass. I now feel blood trickle down from forehead and I slide down the glass as I feel my vision now start to fade in and out of focus, while suddenly a harsh kick in the ribs makes me gasp weakly, coughing up a wee bit of blood as it happens, along with some spit.

 

_Who were these men? Why were they doing this to me?_

 

A harsh stomp on one of my ribs – brings me out of my thoughts – which makes me cry out as I feel pain shoot through me and I'm suddenly hauled to my feet then dragged into the back, where I'm forcefully pinned down onto some sacks.

 

My belt is wrenched off and I hear being clinking on the stone floor as its flung away then hands harshly pull my jeans down, as I try not think that this is going to happen to me. I now hear the clink of belt, followed by the rustling of clothes then a hand, grabs the back of my head and wrenches it backwards by my hair.

 

* * *

 

 

Pain, agony. It's all I can feel, when I come around and weakly flutter my eyes open. My vision is blurry and I try to get up, but pain shoots through my lower half and I collapse back down, while distantly hearing voices shouting things, but there muffled as though I'm under water.

 

Figures rush over to me and I'm picked up then laid on a blanket, which is wrapped around me. As my vision now comes into focus, I can see as I'm wheeled outside by the ambulance crew, that Kiosk manager is talking to the police, while my family are there with them.

 

My father, rushes over to me and leans over me quietly as I weakly feel tears form in my eyes as I bring my hands out of the blanket to ask for a hug. He gives me one, holding me gently as I fist my hands into his t-shirt and bury my face into his warm chest, as the tears now run down my cheeks in thick rivulets.

 

"Shh, it's going to be alright,Son." He whispers, while the ambulance man comes over and indicates that he needs to check me, when suddenly I see that Chad, Orihime and Ishida, have appeared behind him then she comes up to me, taking hold of my hand.

 

"Your father's right, Ichigo. Everything, will be alright and will be waiting when you come out of the Hospital." Orihime says, while squeezing my hand to reassure me that everything was alright and that they would be there for me, so I lightly squeeze her hand back.

 

"Thanks, Orihime." I said, voice breaking with emotion in the process and soon I'm being lifted into the ambulance then Father gets in with the Ambulance man as the doors shut behind them both.

 

I try not feel frightened, when the ambulance arrives at the Hospital and I'm wheeled inside, the gleaming white corridors reminding me of the Hollow's creature's that ravaged this world where I lived and what if Kenpachi, hadn't left me.

 

This assualt might not of happened to me, if he had stayed in my bedroom and just held me for little longer as I'm helped off the ambulance trolley then lead over to a bed, where the ask me to lay down and to wait for the Doctor - who would examine me - to arrive.

 

I lay there and soon here footsteps of the Doctor, who comes up to me with his clipboard and pulls the curtain around the bed for privacy then placing that down, opens the cabinet to get out the equipment he needs.

 

He doesn't say anything to me, while I hear the snapping of the gloves being put on and he comes over to me then gently unwraps the blanket, he notes the bruises on my hips of where the man, had gripped me and touches my hip, lightly.

 

I wince weakly, because they hurt and takes his hand away from my hip then asking me quietly to part my legs, lay back well enough for him to examine stay still as I lay my head to one side on the pillow, wishing that I could turn back the clock to when Kenpachi was still holding me in his arms.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

** 5 YEARS LATER: **

 It had been 5 years, since what happened in the Kiosk and what had transpired afterwards. I still had nightmares about it and would sometimes, find myself waking up in cold sweats as the memory of those men's cold hands, touching me, flashed before my eyes.

 

At least, I wasn't alone and had my friends to keep me from doing anything reckless. Like go after the men, who had done this to me and use my Soul Reaper powers to teach them a lesson.

 

The police had not find them, yet and it was likely they ever would.

 

It didn't matter now, what was important now, was enjoying time with my friends and family, because my birthday was coming up and soon I would be 18 years old. Everyone, was getting prepared for it and already, keeping me away and telling to do something else for wee while as they got ready for.

 

I had decided so that I wasn't in the way, to stay in my bedroom and listen to some music on my tablet, so plugged the headphones in, while Kon, came stumbling in and shut the door behind him. He looked slightly worse for wear as he went over to the cat basket, which I had brought for him, to celebrate his birthday then settled in it, while pulling the blanket over him to block out all external sound, coming from downstairs.

 

Laying back down, I put the headphones on and laid my head to one side on the pillow, while resting a hand on my abdomen – which some point had become slightly swollen, but it was probably just from eating too much, which I had been doing a lot lately.

 

My Dad, and Urahara-san, had noticed this and yet they weren't telling me anything, even not asking my questions and instead changing the subjects to Party plans.

 

Did they know, something I didn't know about Soul Reapers? Was it possible that, maybe, I was pregnant due Kenpachi, making love to me about 5 years, before the incident. I couldn't be.

 

But then along with food cravings - especially Strawberries and milk – I was also craving **_"it"._**

 

I wanted to have "it" again, with Kenpachi, feel everything.

The way our bodies moved, how he held me tight and kissed me gently, so gently that he was afraid I might break like a fine china doll.

 

The song, now, that is playing is relaxing me and wonder if I should, even though Kon, might hear me and wonder what the heck is going on. Biting, my bottom lip, because I'm feeling nervous at what I'm about to, I slide my hand down and pull down the zip of my jeans, as quietly as I can then back up again, as my heart now begins to furiously pound against my ribcage.

 

Slowly, I place a hand on the seam of my boxers and above the trail of hair that leads downwards to the soft ache between my thighs. Bringing my free hand, up to my mouth, I place it against my lips – which I can feel are quivering- then slide my hand inside.

 

It's warm and moist, which makes me frown as I try to think, why.

 

Sighing, I lay there for minute as the song changes, while my hand just rests over the gentle mound then, working up the courage, slide it further down. A slight quiver runs through, my thighs as I do so, knowing that if anyone comes in the door, that there not the only one, who is going to be embarrassed then brush a finger, over the petals to test my reaction.

 

A small lightning bolt of pleasure, goes through me and I arch slightly of the bed covers, while giving a tiny breathless gasp, which I manage to stifle. Laying back down, I start to move and dip the finger, between the petals, which are now starting to become moister as I feel the tight warmth inside, which I wish could be filled something, more.

 

My face is now flushed and I'm having difficultly, keeping the pants and gasps, quiet. The tingles that are running up my thighs, are so intense that I know that I continue this, that it will start to hurt, when I approach climax.

 

My body is shaking and suddenly, I tense weakly as it hits, while my thighs clench around the hand between my legs, clamping down on it as I feel spurt of dew, cover my hand then as the tremors, wash over me, hear Kon, waking up.

 

"Ichigo, what was though noises, that I thought I heard?" He asks, as I now, feel my body stop trembling and pull my hand out my boxers, which are now wet with my release, that has started to run down the inside of my thighs.

 

"It's nothing, Kon…haa…it's just, the music from my headphones." I said, as I quickly sorted my jeans as he got out the bed and stretched then sniffed the air, as I quickly slid off the bed and got up.

 

"If you say so." He said, while crossing his arms over himself, telling me that he wasn't convinced by what I just said, as I now paused the music and placed the headphones back in the draw, with the tablet.

 

I head to the door and open it, then step out onto the landing, just as I hear someone come up the stairs, which makes me turn to see that is my Dad. He comes, up to me and for some reason, I feel as though that he already knows what transpired between me and Kenpachi, about 5 years before this incident at the Kiosk.

 

"I want you tell me the truth, Ichigo." He says, while I lower my head to stare at the floor and start to wonder, how to I tell him the truth.

 

"About what?" I ask, because I needed to know that we were thinking the same thing and I feel him suddenly lead me away from the stairs, down to his study room.

 

He doesn't say anything, as he now opens the door and leads me inside, while I feel some brush past me then see that it is Urahara-san, in his normal attire – the green stripped hat and clogs. The door calmly shuts behind me and I suddenly hear my Dad, turning a key in the lock.

 

"We need to talk about, the children growing inside you. Captain Zaraki's children." Urahara- san said, while I felt a jolt go through me as my heart skipped a beat, as now weakly placed a hand to abdomen.

 

"Children!?" I whisper, my voice now breaking slightly as I try to comprehend the words that he as just said to me and walk forward, only to feel myself collapse on both knees, as the words echo and re-echo in my head.

 

I was pregnant with two children, which were now growing inside the womb that had been formed. They were both, his children and I wonder how it was possible that this could happen as there were no records in the Soul Society of successful birthing between two Shinigami males.

 

 "Yes, though it is extremely rare for it to happen. You probably already know about the Records from Rukia, telling you about how there has been no successful birthing." Urahara said, while Father, helps me up and I seem to remember that I only had been half paying attention to her as Kon, had pissed me off that day.

 

"Some of it. But, Kon, was pissing me off, so I forget the rest of it." I said, while they look at me then hear my Father, groaning as Urahara-san looks at me with his shadowed eyes.

 

* * *

 

I now stood in my room and looked down at the picture of me surrounded by Chad, Ishida, Orihime, Kon and Rukia, along with Renji, Ikkaku and Yumichika as Dad, holding the camera, took the picture.

 

It had been taken during the Cherry Blossom Festival and I remember that Ikkaku, had been challenged to train the Kendo Pupils at my school at the time, resulting in him staying at and I quote **_"Unmentionable person"_ ** House at the time.

 

Sighing, softly, I came out my thoughts as I hear someone knock on the bedroom door, so go up to it and open it quietly, seeing that is Kenpachi, standing there then he steps inside. Yachiru, isn't with him, meaning that he wanted to talk to me about something alone or it was something else, that he had come here for.

 

My back hits something solid, which I can tell is the wall near my bedroom window as he now comes right up to me, that any closer and we would be touching then a large hand, is placed near the side of my head, on the wall as he leans down to kiss me.

 

His lips are gentle, against mine and he moves them slowly, while we both change positions of them and I bring my hands up, slowly, to hold his arms gently as he does so. The kiss, almost felt like that he was saying goodbye to me and as he lets go, I feel a jolt go through me, as he slides away from me.

 

A Soul Society, door has formed and I watch in slow motion as they slide open and as he walks, while the mist seeps out, he turns his head slightly to look back at me, where immediately I feel a jolt go through me as a single tear runs down his cheek.

 

I bring my hand up, as I step forwards to stop him, but my vision suddenly begins to blur then as I collapse on both knees, the room as returned to normal and he is gone from my sight as I now feel tears start to form as I wrap my arms around myself and lower my head, as my body starts to tremble.

 

Why had he just done that?

 

What the hell did it mean?

 

I should have stopped him, from going and told him that he would be becoming a Father. Maybe, it was because he was frightened of what he was feeling inside.

 

Getting up, I go over to the desk and grabbing a tissue from the tissue box, wipe my eyes then sort myself, so my friends don't see that I've been crying.

 

Even though, I wanted to tell them about what had happened and why I had been acting strange around them, I needed just time to spend with them.

 

Enjoy their company.

 

* * *

 

_"Ichigo, aren't you going to open it?"_

 

I hear, Orihime, say as I come out the haze I'm in and see that everyone is waiting, so gently untie the ribbon then gently take the lid off, to reveal a flower like none that I ever seen before.

 

"A Moon flower?!" Both, Ganju and Hanatorou, say in awe as I place the box down and slowly take it out the flower, feeling a warmness fill me, as through I'm being embraced from behind by invisible hands of the person, who sent to this me and I know that deep down, that this was Kenpachi's farewell gift.

 

"Ichigo, are you crying?" I hear, Ganju, ask me as I feel a tear run down my cheek and plop gently onto the flowers petals, which makes me look up at him then I wipe away the tear, away with the back of my hand.

 

"No, I'm okay. It's just I'm glad that I'm surrounded by my family and friends, who been everything with me." I said, then place the flower back in the box, so it doesn't get damaged as I'm hugged in a tight group hug, by everyone.

 

Yumichika, then brings through the birthday cake and places it down, while I see that it is a miniature version of when I went save Rukia.

 

"It's perfect, Yumichika-san. You did a beautiful job." I said, as he now went bright shade of pink in embarrassment, while Ikkaku, laughed at his friend's expression.

 

"Oh…this even better, when Ganju, blew up your hair with his cannonball and you had wear …. _ **AHHH, YUMI….MY EAR, MY EAR."** _ Ikkaku, begins to say only to start complaining as Yumichika, twists his ear as he does it then let's go and softly smiles at him, as he brings up a clenched fist, shaking it at him.

 

I felt happy that I had friends like these, with my family as well as laughter soon filled the sitting room as Ikkaku, now attacked him, with pillow then soon it became a giant pillow fight as we all joined in.

 

I can't stop laughing and soon must lower the pillow, I was going to throw to hold my stomach as it was starting to twinge then wipe away a tear as everyone gives Ikkaku, a group hug as he sits with feather on top of his head.

 

"You okay, Ichigo?" He asks, me, while I feel another slight twinge inside, but put it down to just from laughing too much.

 

"Yeah, I'm fine, Ikkaku." I replied to him, while everyone begins to clear up and finish of Yumichika's cake, while I have another look at the Moon- flower in the box.

 

I would put it on the windowsill, so it could get what it needed to grow and after saying goodbye, to everyone - a hug from Orihime, shaking of hand from Chad and Ikkaku, lightly punching my arm - head upstairs to that as loud yawn escapes my Father from the bathroom.

 

"Get some rest, kiddo. You look like you're about crash." He says, while I smile lightly and head into my bedroom then over to my bed.

 

I take the flower out of the box, noticing that was in a plant pot and place it on the windowsill, feeling that I was being held again by him, while I wish that he had been here to celebrate my birthday.

 

"Goodnight, Kenpachi. Sleep well, tonight." I whisper, quietly and head to bed, while hearing a muffled thump soon followed by Kon, starting to make his weird noises again as I slip into the bed then put the lamp off, dousing the room in darkness as I hear Father and my sisters shouting _"Goodnight."._

 

My family, always there for me.

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

Kon snoring, is the first thing I hear wake up and stretch slowly, feeling my bones crack as I do so then look over at him as he sleeps in the cat basket then rolls over his sleep, as he makes weird noises. Sighing softly, I fold the covers back and swing my feet out the bed then put them on the floor, as I hear too late the familiar sound of Dad's wake up call.

 

 **"GOOD MORNING, ICHIGO."** He shouts, as I'm bowled over by him and roll out my bedroom door as I had left it open at some point, into the corridor where I twist out his grip then kick him in the face hard, sending him flying down the corridor, where he lands then skids across the wooden surface on his back as Kon, now awake comes to the doorway to see what the heck has disturbed of his sleep.

 

I stand up straight, as I hear Karin, shouting for breakfast so head for the stairs, but just has I reach the top of the stairs, feel Kon, annoyed that he had been disturbed of his sleep, cannonball into me and I find myself falling down the stairs then land at the bottom, with a loud thud, which makes everyone at the breakfast turn their heads as I weakly get up. I move forward, only to feel pain and place a hand to abdomen as something trickles down the inside of my thighs.

 

"Ichi-nee, you're bleeding. "I hear, Karin, say as I start to feel dizzy and notice that a dark stain as spread on my pyjamas trousers and feel my Dad, grab me as I fall weakly backwards into his arms then hear him, shouting at me to keep my eyes open, but's like a great weight has been attached to them and I find myself slowly closing my eyes, as darkness sweeps in and covers everything.

 

I can hear voices talking as I weakly come around and flutter my eyes open, as I see as my vision clears that I'm in Urahara-san's shop, laying on bamboo mat, while a duvet cover has been placed over me. Lifting it up, I see that there is no blood – because it had been blood, running down the inside of my thighs – and place a hand to my abdomen, feeling the children, shift inside as I place the cover back down and lay there, while my hand rests on my abdomen as I stare up at the ceiling.

 

I was fine, it was because of the sex change, and I had just had that _ **"time of the mouth".**_

 

"Oh, your awake, Ichigo-san." I hear, Urahara say, as he comes in the room, after sliding the door open and come up to me as he then sits down on the floor, with his legs crossed as I look at him out the corner of my eye.

 

"I wasn't asleep. You already knew, didn't you? About what happened between me and him?" I asked as he lowered the fan and looked at me, his eyes shadowed by the hat that he wore and sighs softly.

 

"It is difficult, sometimes for Soul Reapers to love, when all they known is fighting." He said, taking a breather, which meant this was probably painful subject for him to talk about then continues. "That's why, he left you as he trying to understand these feelings he is experiencing now.

 

"He could try, to love. He…. I love him, Urahara-san. I have for long time, ever since our fight and maybe he's afraid of it." I said, as I sit up and look at him, as he stares at the floor then lifts his head as I hear at the sametime he does a soft tinkling of bells as someone outside, watching from afar, now flash-steps away and I get up as he flings me a kimono, which I shrug on as I rush to the window then open it, only to see the brief blur of the tattered Captain's haori then it's gone.

 

I breathe shakily as I comprehend the fact that he had been listening and had heard everything. Why? Why, couldn't he accept the fact, that I loved him?

 

_**"You are really being stupid, aren't you, Ichigo. He's monster, he doesn't know how to love."** _

 

That voice, it was the same one from when from when I was fighting that Bounto, with his Doll – Daruka – as I now tremble weakly as the voice soon fades away and the room, returns to normal as I feel a bead a sweat that had formed run down my face then feel my legs give out on me, as large hands suddenly grab me, before I hit the floor then I jolt weakly as I stare up at him.

 

"Kenp..." I begin to say, but he hushes me as Urahara-san, sneaks out and slides the bamboo door shut behind him then brings me close to his chest as I bury my face into it, breathing in softly the familiar warmness then feel him, lay me down on the bamboo bed, gently as I look up at him.

 

The back of his hand strokes my cheek as he bends down and kisses me lightly, as I now quiver softly, feeling tears form in my eyes as he does so. I thought that when he had given me that kiss, he was saying goodbye, but now as he flicks a tongue over my bottom lip, asking for permission, I wonder was it because he sensed the child growing inside me.

 

_Was he afraid it would become a killer like him, not being able to control oneself in battle?_

 

The questions in my head soon go out the window as his tongue probes my mouth now, making harsh pants come from the both of us as we breathe through our nostril's then he lets go, leaving me with aftertaste of something I couldn't describe, but it was wild and intoxicating. Suddenly, I wanted more, to feel more as I lay there with a flushed face as his chest rises and falls under his Haori.

 

"Damm, the things you make me want to do you, Ichigo." He whispers as he bends his head down to my neck and starts to trail is moist lips up and down it, as I part my legs as his hand slides downwards and over my black boxers, feeling the soft mound, which makes me, push my hips into his hand as he does so then his hand, goes up to the waistband of them as I wonder if we should as there was a risk of Urahara-san, interrupting us or even for that matter, hearing us.

 

He lifts the seam up and is about to slide his hand inside, when suddenly the door slides open and we both scramble to sort ourselves, while he sits near the door now as I face away from it, as Urahara -san, comes in then looks at us both and sighs behind his fan.

 

"Please keep your libido to minimum, the two of you please as there are kids here." He said, while I rolled to face him then rise and nod silently, deciding that maybe that it's time that I get home as Dad, Yuzu and Karin, will be worried about me.

 

The problem was how I going to explain Kenpachi to them.

 

"What's wrong, Ichigo?" I hear, asking me, which makes me come out of my thoughts and sigh weakly, ruffling a hand through my hair as Urahara-san, suddenly disappears as I hear Jinta being shouted at again for not doing his chores.

 

"It's my Family. I don't know how to explain you to them, when I introduce I mean. Oh, this is so complicated." I said, while he his hand gently takes hold of my chin and tilts it up so I look at him then pulls me to him, giving me a hug.

 

"I think I could help you with that." I hear Urahara-san, saying and see that Tessai, behind him has empty Gigai over his shoulder, which makes Kenpachi groan at the sight of it.

 

He hated those things.

 

* * *

 

 

Dad, it seems as I now stand in front of him, can't comprehend the fact that standing next to me is my "boyfriend" while Karin and Yuzu, who at the dinner table, seems not that bothered by it any way, as he now points very rudely of course a finger at Kenpachi – now wearing normal clothes, looking like he was some kind of biker with the leather jeans and jacket, white tank top and small chain necklace with "15" on it – which he seemed not mind as it was a new gigai.

 

"Dad, are just going to keep on staring and stand there? Or actually going to introduce yourself." I said, as he blinked at me then hugged me, making me struggle as it becomes a bear hug and try to get him to release me, while Kenpachi, leans against the doorway, smirking lightly.

 

"Oh, my son has finally become a man, by bringing home one." He said, now squeezing me so much that it was getting difficult to breathe then he lowers me and softly smiles at Kenpachi, who looks at me as I give him a sheepish grin, while rubbing the back of my head.

 

He lets me down and releases me, while I'm glad that I now can breathe then slaps Kenpachi, on the shoulder and winces slightly as he does so.

 

"Kurosaki, Isshin. What's your name, big guy?" He asked him, while Kenpachi, goes to say his real name, but then thinks better of it as I give him a slight glare, which he manages to glare down, making me slump weakly as he does so.

 

"Ken, just Ken." He says, then smiles at my Dad, who leads him over to the table to introduce him to Karin and Yuzu, who looks at me as I stand there and smile at Kenpachi.

 

Ken. Well, it had to do for now, as he had stay here for a couple of days as it seemed that Aizen was plotting something after this Winter, that was coming. It would be nice, to celebrate Christmas with my friends at Urahara-san's then at home with my family and Kenpachi, depending really on what came up.

 

Pulling the futon in the closet, while Kenpachi, lays on my bed, propped up slightly on his elbow as he watches me out, then drag the futon, over to the space near Kon's bed and place it down, making dust rise upwards and cover me in cloud, which when it settles hear Kon, laughing his head off as I now have dust face-mask then go over to him, as he now continues to giggle and laugh. Grabbing him, I fling him hard as I was now pissed off as he hits the wall with a groan, above my desk then peels off the wall as I now get the duvet and pillows out the closet then slide it closed with my foot.

 

He gets up and shakes an angry fist at me as he cursed at me then goes quiet as I hear him whisper something to Kenpachi, which for some reason makes the hair on the back of my neck stand as I now turn to look at them, as they both stare at me. A bead of sweat runs down my face as I now try to compose myself as Kon, smirks at me then jumps of the bed and heads out my bedroom, shutting the door behind him now leaving me and Kenpachi, alone in the room.

 

"Kon, didn't say anything, did he? That was…um...you know." I ask, Kenpachi, as I go over to the desk and look at him as calmly flicks his eyes up and down as I was only in a t-shirt and my boxers as it was rather warm in the air, even though it was night-time outside.

 

"What makes you, think that, Ichigo?" He whispers his voice so husky and seductive that I feel a blush rise on my cheeks, while a slight ache down below makes me throb weakly as he had now gotten up and placed me against the closet door, as I turn my face away to hide it from him as he places a hand, near my head on the closet door.

 

"It…um...you..." I start to say, but lose my line of thought as he takes hold of my chin and turns it gently so I consider his green eyes then bends, kissing me lightly as his hand snakes around my waist and takes hold of my back as he turns me around.

 

He lays me down on the bed as we continue to kiss for wee while then let's go to breathe as I see that his face is flushed and that underneath the tank top he wears as he had taken off jacket, his chest rises and falls. He eyes have expanded slightly and seemed of changed colour slightly, but maybe that was just my imagination then he bends down to my neck as he slides a hand to up shirt, shrugging it up in the process as I tilt my head back, gasping softly as he caresses my chest with his hand, feeling the contours of muscles, as I feel myself becoming wet down below.

 

"Ichigo, the way you make feel this emotion…haa…called Love. It consumes me." He whispers in my ear, his breath hot against my ear and lifts his head from my neck to look down at me, seeing that now my face was flushed then he bends his head down, kissing my chest lightly as I feel my chest rise and fall as he now trails downwards.

 

His large hand goes to the waistband of my boxers and gently pulls them off then as I part my legs, so he can get between them, then lifts his head to look at me. I wanted him, to make love to me and watch quietly as he sits up straight as he now unbuckles the belt then pulls the zip down, slowly. He pulls his trousers down along with the boxers, slightly down a bit then melds his body into mine, as I bring my hands up to hold him to me.

 

"Kenpachi, light a flame in me, so that I'll never forget." I whisper to him as his eyes now glint softly as places a hand on my thigh then lifts my leg up as he pushes his hips, forward as we both gasp at the sametime as he becomes fully sheathed inside me.

 

The bells in the hair tinkle slightly, as he does so and leans over me as his chest now rises and falls, heavily then starts to undulate his hips back and forth, gently as I bring my hands up. Taking hold of the back of his head, I slide the other one to his shoulder, to take hold of as harsh gasps and soft pants, fill the room as he makes love to me.

 

It was gentle and so warm that I can feel his Reistsu and mine, swirl around us both as I feel now, all sudden everything – his thoughts, feelings and his love for me and the children – as we become one as the Soul chain's inside us, now link together, so that we can never be separated from each other, ever again.

 

* * *

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> Me: Aizen is a Bakkoro and that is all I have to say, about that matter.

Kenpachi, holds me as I now lay there gently after experiencing the most intense thing in my life, while one of his hand reaches up and strokes a strand of slightly damp hair from my forehead as I now feel my heart resume my normal beat and my breath come in short gasps as I try to get my breathing back. He is now, reclining on one elbow as he lays next to me, while I look up at him as his large hand takes hold of my cheek, stroking it gently with his thumb.

 

"You, okay? I didn't hurt you or anything?" He asks, as I sit up as I now needed a drink of water and get off the bed then stumble back a bit, which makes him take hold of me as I lean against for support, as I was still feeling a little bit weak, from our lovemaking

 

"No, it's that it felt so good, when we made love, just now." I reply, as he gets off the bed and holds me to him, for a while as I look up at him then he lets me go, so I can get clean boxers from the chest of drawers.

 

Shrugging them on, I open the door and step out the corridor, while after sorting himself, follows me down the stairs and into the kitchen. Running the tap, I get one of the clean cups and fill it then take glug of it, as he leans against the counter, managing not break it, with his hands that rest on it then after finishing it place it down then turn to face him, as he now takes his hands off the counter.

 

One of his hands, takes hold of my back and the other tilting my chin up, as he now bends down as we bring our lips together then begin to move them, against each other's. They were warm, against mine as he now flicks a tongue over my bottom lip, seeking permission to probe my mouth, which in I allow and soon, harsh pants come from us as our tongues entwine in harmony as we probe each other mouth's.

 

Saliva has now formed and is trickling down the side of mouth's, while also being swapped about then he lets go to breathe and places my head against his chest, while I hear his heart now thudding against his ribcage like a frightened rabbit's as his breath now comes in slight laboured gasps, which sound loud in the kitchen area.

 

"It's okay, Kenpachi, it's alright. I'm here, I'm here." I whisper, calmly to him as he stops gasping and swallows weakly, his Adam's apple, bobbing slightly as he does so when suddenly there is bright flash as I distantly hear a camera clicking, which makes us both tense in embarrassment as we both turn to see Yachiru, is standing there and holding a camera then takes another picture as I give a very un-manly scream of her name, which immediately makes all the lights now in the house, switch on as my Dad, comes thundering down the stairs to see what the commotion is.

 

"Ichigo, are you…. Who the heck is this?" He says, as he now sees Yachiru – thankfully in normal Human clothes – who is standing there, with a big grin on her face and I quickly walk over to him, as he now points a finger at her, his hair standing up as he does so.

 

"This is Ken's daughter, Yachiru. I'm sorry, I forget to tell you, about her." I said, as she came over and looked up at my dad, who was looking at me, Kenpachi, her then back at me, as I stood feeling now so humiliated that we had been spotted by a "pink- haired nightmare" with her secret weapon – the camera – which I was now trying to get off her as Dad, distracted her.

 

"Oh, why aren't you a cutie. How old is she, Ken?" He said, as Kenpachi, come over and sighed as he ruffled a hand through his hair then reached down and picked her up as she nuzzled against his chest, happy to be with him, while sticking a tongue out at me as she had hidden the camera, somewhere on her person.

 

"She's about 7. Hectic, and bit of nonsense, but she's the best daughter, one can have." He says, as she rises her head and suddenly burst tears as she buries her face into his chest as I now bring my hands up, but Dad does it for me.

 

"Hey, there, there. It's complainant and nice one, so more tears, okay, little one." He says, as she nods silently and wipes away the tears with the back of her hands and soon hands her to me as now heads up the stairs, saying goodnight to us as I now try to figure what I should I do, now that she was here.

 

Kon, who is calmly sleeping in his cat basket, wakes up and gives a slight muffled scream as I quickly cover his mouth as Yachiru, walks in and looks around my room, while Kenpachi, calmly closes the door behind him then places his hands in his jeans pockets, while she jumps onto the futon now then let go of Kon's mouth. He shakes a fist at me as she knows settles and sits there, grinning at all three of us as I stand up straight then decide that maybe it was time for bed.

 

Yawning, I head over to my bed and pull back the covers, while Kenpachi, settles down on the futon and soon falls asleep as I now reach up and switch off the desk lamp then pull the covers up around me, as roll to face the window, which is open to allow fresh air in the room then close my eyes as sleep overcomes me.

 

* * *

 

 

Something rouses me sharply from sleep, I had been having and open my eyes wide to see that Yachiru, is now on my chest and looking down at me as I scream weakly in panic that she is so close to me, while she jumps off my chest as I sit up then glare at her as I now see the time on my clock. It was only 2:22 in the morning and she had woken me up, for some reason, while Kenpachi, rises his head and sighs as he sees that Yachiru, as deprived of us our sleep.

 

"Dammit, Yachiru, it's 2:22 in the morning. Why are you awake?" I said, as I sat up as she jumped on the bed and pointed out the window as I see that she is pointing at the sky then watch as black line appears in the sky, which is pink, yellow and gold as the sun starts to rise over Karakura Town, and as it opens like a jigsaw pieces being pulled back to reveal a familiar figure, I feel a jolt go through me as I recognise the person.

 

Aizen Sousuke, once a Captain of one of the Division's in the Soul Society, is looking down at us as I feel my heart now begin to pound against my ribcage as though threatening to jump out of my chest then he flash-steps and suddenly, before I have time to react, he grabs me and flash-steps with me.

 

Now, we were above my house in the air and I struggle weakly in his grip as he holds my chin in a bruising grip, while Kenpachi, now flies up to us in his Shinigami form, while Yachiru, is being held by his Gigai, who is shaking slightly as he does so. I look at my lover, as he brings out his sword and I'm flung to one side, but caught by hands, which pull me flush against a muscled chest as I hear slight chuckle in my ear as I'm pulled away from the fight that has now started then upwards where I hear them click their fingers as they form a doorway, as I now think about it.

 

The hand around my waist, now tightens as I try to get free, when suddenly a harsh slap from sounds as something else, slaps me across the face, which made stop struggling in the person's grip as I hear Kenpachi, distantly call my name as feel weak suddenly. He flash-steps up to me and that's when it happens, as I watch in slow motion as a sword pierces right through his chest, sending blood spurting upwards into the misty chilly air of the morning as he eyes go wide slightly, as he brings his hand up to the sword, which is then harshly pulled out.

 

His body jolts, hard as though he was like a puppet, who's strings have been cut and shakily I reach out my hand, feeling his fingertips brush against mine as he weakly tries to comprehend the fact of what just happened to him, while Yachiru, watches in horror and shock as her adopted Father, as he now falls backwards then downwards.

 

"Kenp..." I shout, but it's interrupted halfway through as there is harsh punch to my stomach, which makes a harsh cough come from me, as all the breath in my body, feels as though it's been knocked out of me then slump, weakly in the unknown person's grip as I now feel my vision, start to fade as my eyes become heavy.

 

I try to keep them open, but it's like a great weight, has been put on them and is pulling them down, as Aizen, who had disappeared for minute, appears back again then comes over to me. He takes hold of my chin and tilts it up, so before blackness succumbs my vision, that last thing I see, are hazel eyes considering mine then remember nothing afterwards as I sink into an unconscious state.

 

The only thoughts, before it happened were why was Aizen doing this?

 

Why was he kidnapping me like this?

 

Was it because of the children?

 

Was Kenpachi, still alive and I hoped he would find me?

 

* * *

 

 

A hand stroking my cheek, is what I feel as I come around and weakly flutter my eyes then jolt upwards, only to gasp weakly as I feel the collar around my throat as my vision now clears to reveal a room, which is completely white, while there is only one window, thin and not showing much, outside. I turn my head to glare at the person, who had stroked my cheek and see that a person, with slightly spikey blue hair and part of mask on the left side of his face stands there, grinning at me as it all comes flooding back.

 

Kenpachi, being stabbed by Aizen and Yachiru, watching in mute horror as he falls to the ground. I couldn't feel anything through the bond, meaning it was being blocked somehow then the sound of a door sliding open, brings me out of my thoughts as someone comes in.

 

Aizen, now walks up to bed and indicates for "Grimmjow" - as he was called - to leave the room and I watch quietly as the Espada, leaves while the door slides shut behind him, now leaving me alone with the once former Captain, who betrayed the Soul Society and his Division. He looks down at me and suddenly his hand reaches forward, as I flinch away from it, only to feel a slight click noise as he releases the collar around my throat.

 

"There, now you can breathe, Ichigo." He says, as swing my legs out the bed and get up as he steps back to watch me as I breathe shakily, because wherever I was it was difficult for me in my human form, not my Shinigami form, to breathe the air as I manage to make a few steps, forward then feel him, take hold of me as my breath now comes in short gasps as I feel sweat form and run down my body

 

"Liar, you did that on purpose to see what I would do. You know, I don't have it with me or we would be clashing swords at this moment." I gasp out, as I suddenly feel a twinge in abdomen as the little ones sense their Mother's distress and place a hand weakly to it, to reassure them that everything was alright, when it wasn't.

 

"Maybe." He says, as he sweeps me off my feet and holds me bridal style in his arms as he now carries me back to the bed as I try the bond again, to see if I can reach Kenpachi when suddenly I feel something, a flicker of his Reistsu then reach through the bond, reach for it.

 

_"Haa. Ichigo, where are you?"_

His voice, I can hear his voice and all his emotions flooding into me – anger, despair and surprise – as I distantly feel Aizen, lay me down on the bed, who suddenly frowns at me as I seem to look at something distantly, while my eyes are now swirling with unknown colour.

 

_"I don't where I am. Find me, find me …. Kenpachi."_

 

I say through the bond, then suddenly feel blinding pain shoot through me as Aizen, sensing now what I was doing places his hand on my temple, making me start to thrash on the bed as he probes into my mind's defences then jolts slightly as his eyes go wide. He surges into the heart of it and suddenly shadows seep in, making me give harsh scream as I distantly hear Kenpachi, sensing my agony and pain through the bond, scream my name as the Soul link that had been made between us suddenly breaks apart.

 

Reistsu, explodes upwards into the air and I feel as though I'm being torn apart as the familiar Hollow hole forms in my chest, while I try weakly to stop it from happening then hear the voice, which makes me jolt as in mind's eye, I see the person come out of the shadows and hold out their hands, which are pure white.

 

_**"Stop fighting, Ichigo. Let go, it's my turn now to be in control, your majesty"** _

 

I try to keep my eyes open as darkness now slides across my eyes covering it, while I pray that this Demon, inside me, won't harm the children that are growing inside me as I now succumb to its control and sink down into the abyss, where the monster of the deep, waits calmly to chain me to the ocean that has been made from all the pain, anguish and grief in my life.

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
